


A Land Of Nevers

by Blanxious13



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-22
Updated: 2014-04-22
Packaged: 2018-01-20 10:52:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1507868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blanxious13/pseuds/Blanxious13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You aren't supposed to live here, hide away from your life like he has, never grow up. You never learn if you never grow up, and who wants to live in a land of nevers?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_People never return to me, I expect that is because so very few ever leave. I've seen them die here, unless they belonged to him - sometimes even when they do - and i've seen their minds crumble down before them. I am a place of tragic beauty, and deceitful games. I used to be the place that children wished to visit in their dreams, a land of wonder blessed with the freedom of innocence, until one boy got greedy. You aren't supposed to live here, hide away from your life like he has, never grow up. You never learn if you never grow up, and who wants to live in a land of nevers?_

_People never normally return to me, and even when they do it ends with death. Then again, Captain Hook was never a man that feared death._

**Chapter 1: Secrets of Madness**

"I've told you Swan, he was a mistake. This island drives you to acts of madness. I was stuck in this hell for years. You've only witnessed it's horrors for mere days, you can't possibly begin to understand why I did what I did,"

"You can't even say it can you?-"

"I..."

"No of course you can't, and I don't blame you: It's disgusting."

"I know what you must think of me...but I can assure you I've never even thought about anything like that before I came to this island...there was only Milah for a long time..."

"Enough! I don't know how it works in this world, but I'm not disgusted at you for that. Not because he's a he, though I am pretty shocked about that too," Emma faltered for a moment as confusion took command of her face,

"- but he is a monster. A demon, you said it yourself!"

"And I stand by that."

"Then how could you even consider it for a second? Let alone a ... whatever the hell it was you two had."

This shook Hook from the huddled over refuge he'd made of his body,

"We didn't have anything! It just...look I can't speak about this, i've spent far too long trying to forget about it all; him, this island, it haunted me for a long time. Please just let it go?"

For a moment, she looked as if she considered doing just that.

"No. No I can't do that,"

The pirate's eyes pleaded in earnest, but the guilt in the pit of his stomach threatened to betray them.

"Swan..."

Emma didn't allow herself a second to take in the sorry sight, she used that second to close her eyes as if she could bring to life a new situation by blocking out the one before her. When that didn't seem to work she looked at Hook with a wilful determination.

"We're here for Henry, and this...information could mean that we can't trust you."

"How can you say that?! What I felt for him is nothing close to what I feel for you! I'm here to find your boy, not for Pan. I would never return of my own accord, you have to know that!"

Just as the seconds started to feel as if they were falling away from her, there was a voice that came from the trees. Even time seemed to stand still as it it were afraid of being caught.

"That hurts Killian, really it does, and here's me thinking that we had something _special_ "

A smooth but deceitful drawl fell from his tongue, like milk about to turn sour.

" **Pan**."

Emma grabbed the dagger from her waist and pointed it towards the boy who was now circling the scene like an animal ready to pounce.

"Oh please, do call me Peter, you know too many intimate details about me now. It only seems right you address me by my first name."

His eyes glanced over to Hook and back to Emma as if he were merely blinking.

"-I'd like to speak to Killian, alone, if I may."

"I don't care what you would like Pan, I want to see my son! If you have harmed a hair on his head I swear I'll..."

"Swan-" He didn't look at either of them, he knew Pan too well than to betray exactly what his eyes thought of Emma Swan. She didn't deserve to be near the boy any longer than necessary.

"Do as he says. I'll speak with him, go back to your family."

After taking a few moments to dismiss the likelihood of Pan just handing over Henry in defeat, she left glaring at them both with suspicious intensity.

"She'll never trust you now Killian. What must she think? Us here alone together in the woods..."

"What do you want from me?"

"Now isn't that a loaded question."

"I'm not here to play games Pan, say what you came to say."

"Oh Captain you have changed, you used to enjoy playing _games_."

"If that's all then I'll be leaving."

As Hook went to walk away, Pan appeared directly in front of him. He always found joy in the power that magic gave to little things, it wasn't just the show of it, moving three feet without moving either of your own doesn't seem so impressive in light of everything else. It was just knowing that he could bend the world to his will that fuelled the fire in his eyes.

"Oh no no, I have a proposition for you," Hook's eyes snapped up.

"Don't worry, not that kind of proposition." the boy said rolling his eyes carelessly.

"I'm not interested."

"But you don't even know what I'm offering in return yet."

"I don't care, I don't want it. Everything you have to offer always comes with a _price_."

He spat as if the words were poisoning his tongue.

"Cost was never an issue for you before, Killian."

"I didn't have anything worth losing back then."

"And now you do? You think you've won the heart of the saviour? Has Captain Hook finally found his _happy_ ending?"

His mocking tone turned simple words to stone so that he could still strike a man down without so much as a flick of his wrists. This demon, they called him, killed men before they even had a chance to live.

"No, but I never will if I keep accepting your offers."

Even in his blank stares the boy portrayed raw unshakable malice.

"You survive my dear Captain. That's all there is to it. These fools hunt down happy endings like water in the desert, when the only real ending is death. I've never seen a dead man smile."

"Men don't often smile at their killer."

Pan smirked at the tree he was standing next to,

"You've never really been afraid of me have you? - It's odd; that most people would pretend that they're not scared, and yet you seem to pretend that you are. Why is that?"

"Like you said, I'm good at surviving."

"You've always intrigued me Killian, it's why I keep letting you leave."

Killian began walking away once again, he'd been walking away from this island for so long that he started to forget where he was walking away to.

"You always come back though. You always will, you know that?"

No more walking.

"Why don't you tell me? If you know so much about who I am, then why don't you let me in on the secret?"

It was more of an understated plea than a question, he could feel it in the back of his throat and it felt like failure.

"Now where's the fun in that?"

Just a nasty little boy.

"You can find fun in the most awful things Pan."

He wished that he wasn't an awful thing nowadays.

"You aren't as awful as you believe Killian."

The boy read his mind like he'd memorized a passage from a book. It wasn't a compliment, he never cared to learn how to speak that language. A fool's tongue he had called it.

"Are you hoping if I keep coming back I'll end up like you?"

And the boy was gone again, never leaving answers in his wake.


	2. He'll Make Nightmares Of Us All

_They don't look at Hook anymore, not if they don't have to._

_They think that he belongs to the boy._

_If they only knew how wrong they were._

"Listen mate, you can either let me help you find your son or you can keep pretending that I don't exist and make this whole endeavour feel a hell of a lot longer for the both of us."

Neal looked at Hook for what might have been the first time in three days, and said nothing out loud. The pirate could see his face cursing him silently.

"I know this island, I know Pan. I could-"

"We all know exactly how well you know Pan."

The whole camp tasted the venom in the man's voice. Neal returned to the fire, leaving that sentance to sting Hook's skin and offering nothing else in the way of conversation. He looked over to Emma, who was sitting across from him, and who had briefly acknowledged the exchange with unsettled discretion.

_She'll never trust you now_

_What must she think?_

Pan's words echoed in his head, looking for a crack to escape from. The boy had made far too many of those cracks, he thought, they weren't likely to provide him any solice. Hook shook his head with disgust. The thought of that boy having control of his mind sickened him to the core. These people, no matter what they thought of him now, couldn't possibly feel that kind of sickness. Then he remembered: Killian Jones was not a man who backed down easily.

"You don't have to like me,-

He said addressing the entire group,

"You don't even have to look up from whatever you're pretending to be doing, but you're going to listen."

He had their attention now, I suppose they all expected him to accept their silence as punishment. Hook felt that he had been punished plenty without their help, and he didn't much care for it.

"So you found out something that I spent years trying to hide, something I've been ashamed of for a long time without any assistance, so I've got that covered believe me. And as far as trusting me goes; I would just hate to think that I don't match up to the moral standing of the dark one, or the evil queen,-"

He looks to Neal now, with undeniable conviction.

"Or even the man who abandoned his family, but the fact of it is: none of your mistakes seem to help us on this little quest. My tale at least includes an extensive knowledge of this island and it's workings." He took a deep breath here, hoping to somehow inhale courage from the air around him.

"And I know Pan. Perhaps better than any of you."

No one said a word for a short while, and Hook was all but ready to give in.

"He has a point."

Dear sweet Snow White, ever the optimist.

"We can't carry on ignoring how useful this could be."

"I'm glad you're seeing it my way love,"

She struck him with the same suspicious gaze as her daughter had before her.

"That doesn't mean that we can trust you Hook. Sure none of us are...perfect,"

Hook raised his eyebrows with disbelieving irritability.

"But you have a _history_ -"

she said the word so delicately as if it might break on her tongue. Hook felt like it might break him, it made him flinch.

"-one that albeit none of us really understand. And if we don't understand it, we can't throw caution to the wind and hope that it doesn't send us flying."

Spoken like a true warrior, Hook thought, it was no surprise that Emma had such fire, with a mother who demanded allegiance with the flair of a battle-savvy knight.

"So what do you suggest?-"

Regina spoke this time,

"-We all sit around the fire and hear the sordid little details of the pirate's rendezvous' with Pan? Will that help us understand?"

Biting sarcasm delivered like she had practised it in her sleep. It wouldn't surprise any of them if she had.

"Not in so many words, and I mean that quite literally, but-"

Hook couldn't believe what she was suggesting, having them know was one thing, but telling them...reliving what he went through with that demon. It didn't bare thinking about. A chill crept up his back, like spiteful fingertips, mocking the burning sensation he was feeling course through his entire body.

He closed his eyes, as memories of the mocking touch of a spiteful boy crept back into his head. 


End file.
